I believe in you

Four simple words: "I believe in you."

We remember who said them to us. We remember where we were standing. We remember exactly how it felt.

Here's why these words hit different than anything else others tell us. 

They transfer faith.

"You can do it" is nice. 

"Good luck" is sweet. 

But "I believe in you"? That's someone loaning you their certainty when yours has run out.

It says: I see something in you that you might not see right now. I'm holding the torch until you can carry it again.

Think about when these words mattered most to you. I bet it was at a threshold. Before something that terrified you. During a big change that felt reckless. In the middle of a struggle that seemed impossible.

And I bet they came from someone whose opinion actually mattered to you.

So why don't we say them more?

As leaders, as managers, as friends - we're so generous with advice. We'll give feedback for days. We'll share what worked for us, what didn't, what we think you should try.

But actually saying "I believe in you"? Actually operating from that place?

We're stingy with that.

We'll spend an hour giving someone advice on how to improve.

But we hesitate to simply say: I believe in you.

Why?

Because we don't trust our own judgment enough to say it.

It's not that we haven't looked at them carefully enough. It's not that we don't see their potential.

It's that we don't trust ourselves to know.

"Am I qualified to make that call? What if I'm wrong? What if my belief doesn't actually mean anything?"

Advice is safe. We can share what worked for us without putting our judgment on the line.

But "I believe in you" requires us to trust ourselves:

●That we can see people accurately

●That our assessment matters

●That our belief carries weight

The question isn't "do I believe in them?"

The question is "do I trust myself enough to say it?"

So here's my challenge this week:

Think of someone who needs to hear "I believe in you."

Someone taking a risk. Someone who keeps apologizing for trying. Someone who's forgotten what they're capable of.

Now ask yourself: what's actually stopping you from saying it?

Is it that you don't believe in them?

Or is it that you don't trust your own judgment enough to say it out loud?

If it's the former - don't say it.

But if it's the latter - here's what you need to do first:

Say it to yourself.

You can't transfer faith you don't have. You can't loan someone certainty when you doubt your own.

So practice saying "I believe in you" - but say it to YOU.

Look in the mirror if you need to. Mean it. Build that belief in your own judgment, your own capacity to see people clearly, your own ability to assess what matters.

If no one else will say it to you, you say it to yourself.

Then - and only then - you can say it to others.

That's the real work.

And if you're the one who needs to hear it right now?

I believe in you. 

Here's what I know: you're here, reading this newsletter. That tells me something.

There's a part of you that's ready to unleash. A part that knows you're capable of more. A part that's looking for permission or validation or just a reminder.

So yes - I believe in you.

Not because I'm supposed to say it. But because you're here, doing the work of thinking about this stuff. And that matters.

The most powerful words aren't complicated.

They're just honest.

And they can change everything.